What is Nonviolent Communication?
Think back to a time when you've been in a dispute
with somone you've really cared about, and felt as
though every word that came out of your mouth just
made matters worse. Or perhaps you can remember a
time where you've felt "disconnected" from
yourself in some way -- perhaps you were feeling
depressed or even numb.
In each of these moments, wouldn't it have been
helpful if you had some way -- some tool -- in which
to make a connection that would move
things forward and relieve some of the suffering?
Nonviolent Communication (sometimes referred to as
Compassion Communication or simply 'NVC') is a simple
four step process developed by psychologist
Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. It has been taught around the
world and has made tremendous contributions in the
areas of: interpersonal relationships, conflict
resolution, parenting, and especially in education.
It calls for a deep listening and
honoring of all feelings that arise in a given
situation, and teaches how to connect these feelings
with their underlying needs.
Each and every human being is motivated by the same
group of needs. Needs such as: connection, listening,
safety, accomplishment, respect, understanding,
etc... By understanding these need we have a doorway
of connection to our emotional self and that of
it's so important...
At its core, NVC teaches peace --
peace that comes, not from idle words, but from a
deep empathy and understanding of what's happening
inside of us, and inside of others.
NVC is being taught in schools, prisons,
corporations, and government organizations around the
world. As a testimony to its effectiveness,
NVC is being shared in virtually every language on
the planet, and its number of practitioners is
How do I learn more?
First off, I would suggest watching a number of the videos on this
site. The initial videos cover a general
overview of NVC, and the later videos go
more into the specifics on using the four
I've also listed a number of good books (including
books-on-audio) to start with.
There's also a great number of websites that offer
free learning materials on NVC.
However, the best way to learn the
process is by finding a study
group or course in your
Nonviolent Communication was developed by Dr.
From the cnvc.org website:
his childhood years, Dr. Rosenberg was intent on
understanding what motivated people toward
violence and why some people, even in trying
circumstances, were moved to compassion instead.
After studying comparative religions and the
stories of peacemakers throughout history, and
using his own varied life experiences, he was
convinced that human beings are not inherently
violent. That belief is the basis of the concepts
and skills of Nonviolent Communication."
In the early
1960's, after working with countless patients as a
clinical psychologist, he felt inspired to share the
same communication skills he had been teaching to his
clients with the public.
In 1984, he founded "The Center for Nonviolent
Communication" a non-profit organization which
now has regional NVC training teams around the world.